Thursday, January 29, 2009

I really should be sleeping

It's 11 o'clock at night. I am sitting here listening to Abe snore on the couch and also listening to the movie stand by me. I have never seen it from the beginning so it really doesn't make since. I am awake because I am waiting to make sure Emily goes to sleep. She will not go to sleep tonight. It is like she was given too much sugar or something. She hasn't though.

I've been thinking way to much lately. Imagine that! I really think I am going to give myself an ulcer soon.

Anyway, I still have no idea what is going to happen with our embryos. They are suppose to be doing genetic testing, but what if those aren't ours? I also really worry that they will not survive. I will feel like they killed my babies. To me, all 4 of them are our babies. They all had the potential of surviving. They are Emily's twins and didn't get the same chance that Emily got. It is so unfair to them. What kind of parent lets something like that happen to their kids. It just all is really too much to think about. I don't understand how the best hospital in the state could screw up this big.

I have also been dealing with some family problems. While it hasn't all been bad, what has been has been horrible. I miss my neice and nephew so much. I really wish things didn't have to be like this. At least it has brought the rest of my family closer together though.

I really need to take up yoga or something to help relieve some of this stress. I guess since I can't bend in those directions, I should look into something else. I will just hold Emily a little tighter and give her extra kisses and hugs. That always makes everything better.

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