Oh the stress level is going up

I received a call from our attorney today. It looks like things are getting more complicated now. There is now a third couple involved with the mix up. This will now add another month at least until our genetic testing can be done. I'm thinking by the time this is all done, all 8 couples that had their embryos frozen during the embryologist's employment will be involved. It looks like we can only just sit and wait. I am so stressed. This is pathetic.

I also found out that our embryos will be tested in chicago. Their accuracy rate is 95%. That really isn't good enough for me. We will not be transferring our embryos because that 5% could come back to bite us. I can't take that chance.

What does all of this mean? It means that we probably won't be doing our next IVF cycle for another year or so. I'm 26 and am worried about my egg quality. As I age, our embryo quality will decrease. This will then make IVF cycles less successful. I am not sure what Abe and I are going to do. I suppose we could always just go to another clinic and do IVF, but I'm not sure it would work due to the stress I am under. I just really want to complete our family. If the hospital hadn't lost our embryos, I would be out of my first trimester by now. It just breaks my heart to think about.

Please keep us in your prayers. It looks like the journey that we thought we were almost through, is just beginning. I know God has a plan, but I really wish I knew what it was and what we are suppose to do. I guess I will just continue to pray and it will all fall into place. I will know the right decision when the time comes.

I really should be sleeping

It's 11 o'clock at night. I am sitting here listening to Abe snore on the couch and also listening to the movie stand by me. I have never seen it from the beginning so it really doesn't make since. I am awake because I am waiting to make sure Emily goes to sleep. She will not go to sleep tonight. It is like she was given too much sugar or something. She hasn't though.

I've been thinking way to much lately. Imagine that! I really think I am going to give myself an ulcer soon.

Anyway, I still have no idea what is going to happen with our embryos. They are suppose to be doing genetic testing, but what if those aren't ours? I also really worry that they will not survive. I will feel like they killed my babies. To me, all 4 of them are our babies. They all had the potential of surviving. They are Emily's twins and didn't get the same chance that Emily got. It is so unfair to them. What kind of parent lets something like that happen to their kids. It just all is really too much to think about. I don't understand how the best hospital in the state could screw up this big.

I have also been dealing with some family problems. While it hasn't all been bad, what has been has been horrible. I miss my neice and nephew so much. I really wish things didn't have to be like this. At least it has brought the rest of my family closer together though.

I really need to take up yoga or something to help relieve some of this stress. I guess since I can't bend in those directions, I should look into something else. I will just hold Emily a little tighter and give her extra kisses and hugs. That always makes everything better.

A great day

Today is a great day. One of my friends is adopting a baby and they were matched today with her babies birth parents. Her baby will be here in April. She is well overdue for a baby. Her journey has been longer than I could imagine. I'm so happy for her and have noone to tell. I contemplated waking Abe up, but since he worked all night, decided not to. The dogs were a little excited, but I didn't get the excitement I was looking for. Kat is going to be a mommy! yay

So tired of being sick

So after being sick for 9 days, I am finally feeling a little relief. I went 8 days without hardly eating anything. I absolutely hate the feeling that someone is stabbing me in the throat everytime I try to swallow something. I hope this goes completely away soon.

Emily has a cold that we can't get rid of too. She seems to be acting normal though. It is just her poor little nose. I just wish she could blow it. It is like one snot bubble after another. I know yuck!

Somehow, Abe seems to have evaded the germies. He is so lucky!

Where do I start?

Okay, So lets see if can figure this out.

I guess I will start with a disclaimer.

I am sure I will have many typos and gramatical errors. I may even be hard to follow sometimes. My mind is very random and I have trouble following it sometimes.

Okay good enough.

Hopefully everyone will like to have a little insight into my life and feelings. I am really not good at expressing my feelings so bear with me.